My boys would not appreciate me making a big deal of the bath toys I still buy for them. So I don’t.
But beside our bath there’s a little collection of animals, boats and small characters. Every now and then I quietly add a new one. Nobody asks for them.
They use them anyway.
The walrus, the spaceman and the seal
From the next room I’ll hear the walrus having a heated debate with the spaceman. The seal wanders over to see what all the fuss is about. Then the boat arrives and splashes the lot of them.
I love hearing it because it’s very cute. But as a psychologist, I know it’s doing a lot more than that.
Play doesn’t stop mattering at 9
As children get older, their play naturally changes. For many families, including mine, screens take up more and more of their free time. Imaginative play with small figures often quietly disappears, because it starts to feel “babyish” or because there’s simply no time or space for it.
That matters. Research consistently links pretend play with emotional regulation, perspective-taking, language and problem-solving. Psychologists such as Peter Gray have also argued that the decline in children’s free play over recent decades may be connected to rising anxiety in young people.
Pretend play with characters and animals gives children a way to:
- Process their day. A tricky moment at school can be replayed, slowed down and made sense of.
- Work through conflict. When the walrus and the spaceman argue, a child is practising what disagreement feels like, trying out both sides, and testing different endings. They can be the one who decides how it’s resolved, which rarely happens in real life.
- Take a step back from big feelings. It’s often easier for a seal to be worried or cross than to say “I’m worried” or “I’m cross.”
- Regulate through the senses. Warm water, splashing, pouring and floating are naturally calming for many children, particularly those who find the rest of the day overwhelming.
Why bath toys work so well
Outside, my boys still play: in the woods, at the beach, climbing and exploring. I make sure that’s part of our week.
But the bath is special. There are no screens, no instructions and no one watching. Warm water, a bit of time, and a few characters waiting for them. In a busy world, it’s one of the few places where play for an older child still just happens.
How to make bath toys work for older kids
- Choose “cool” toys. Skip the rubber ducks. Think animals, sharks, spacemen, divers, pirates, boats or small figures from something they’re into.
- Leave them visible. Keep them within reach of the bath rather than in a box. If they’re there, they get used.
- Don’t comment. No “oh, are you playing with the walrus?” Older children often stop the moment it’s noticed.
- Top them up quietly. A new character every now and then keeps things fresh and starts new stories.
- Allow a bath, not just a shower. Even once or twice a week makes room for this kind of play.
Play isn’t something children outgrow at 9. It just needs a bit more protecting. So go and buy the slightly ridiculous walrus. Leave it by the bath. Say nothing.
Meet Teddy
While the Tedology Bear may look like a teddy bear, it is actually an emotional wellbeing kit designed to help children talk about feelings, feel calmer, and manage big emotions through connection and play.